Restawyle

Rest, Relax and Enjoy

My Absence Explained.{A broken heart}


Tuesday 4th February 2014.

I was on the verge of composing and posting some follow-up Xmas posts when my life was abruptly changed, changed for good. But I was stopped in my tracks and had no time to post anything until now. I am hoping all you regular readers will understand and accept. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to continue with living and posting more stories as before. Thank you everyone for your continued support, love and understanding.

valentine-heart2

Tuesday 17th December 2013.       While doing my Xmas posts, I suffered a dull uncomfortable ache in my chest and back of both arms. I could not sleep in bed so spent night o sofa.

valentine-heart2

Friday 20th December 2013.      Visited my doctor, who took blood tests and also had ECG.

valentine-heart2

Saturday 21st December 2013.   02.00 there were knocks on the door. Where I live one does not open door to unexpected visitations that early in the morning.  10.00am the door went again, doctor visiting.  Apparently I had had a minor heart attack on Tuesday and after his initial checks I was rushed to hospital.

valentine-heart2

Goodbye Universe. [poem]

The universe is no longer my friend

Once again he has let me down

Many years ago he took my father

Followed a few years later with my mother.

Then without a thought he hurt my brother.

Twisting his knife of fate, deeper it went.

Oozing every last drop of emotion from me.

Screwing it up and throwing it away,

Just like scrap paper flying into the bin.

I did for awhile start to believe,

Listening to, and writing all those fancy words.

Telling me about love, faith, fate and hope.

Patience, tolerance, oh never again!

I walked the line, showing I was true.

I have lost faith.

Fate cannot be trusted,

Love will always be with me.

Hope! I do not know if I have any left.

Opening my heart, bearing my soul.

Inviting you in to become my friend.

Friend you proved not to be.

Abandoned me now, so it seems.

Today is the day, I look you in the eye.

For the last time I say, “get out of my life”

 Gaa/C 2013.

 Gerry Ainger/Cobb. 23rd December 2013. In hospital Cardiac Care Unit.

Tuesday 24th December 2013.  Angiogram-findings not good. Diagnosis, I will not be having stents put in. Instead I am now to have a double heart by-pass. Needless to say I was now very, very scared.

valentine-heart2

Monday 30th December 2013.  Today was my turn, from time of waking in the morning to the time of operation I was continually thinking all sorts of things. Ranging from good thoughts to the real bad negative thoughts. Prolonging my life to never seeing anyone again. With all the pre-med and preparations,with the shaving my body and being drugged. The last I remember was being wheeled into the outer theatre where two surgeons were talking to me and calming me. I do not remember much of the next two days.  Apparently the operation was a success.

valentine-heart2

Wednesday 1st January 2014.  My start of the new year was crying in pain, a collapsed lung resulted in drainage tubes and emergency procedures done very early morning of this new years day. For the next two weeks I went through numerous tests and had people, usually nurses, prodding, sticking needles in me, cutting me and sticking tubes in my chest. Cannular’s and drip feeds not to forget the catheter for urine.[Twice]

31 days after my admittance I was allowed to come home, but only with special conditions. Now on this day of posting I have improved well enough to get about and even go out in the car. However there is still a long way to go, at least, I am on this new journey and with new approach to life.

I hope to start my regular posts again shortly, plus an update to this one, I therefore look forward to getting back to normal and appreciate and am grateful for your continued support. Thank you.

thank-you09_thumb.jpg

2014 signature

February 4, 2014 - Posted by | Artistic., Feelings an Attitudes, Love, New Forest, Personal, Poetry, Uncategorized

76 Comments »

  1. Gerry sweetheart, so sorry to hear about this, but pleased to hear from you. I did wonder where you had gone. Hoping a new year and new health will see you on the road to recovery. But don’t stress about the blogging.

    Fingers crossed for your good health

    K xx

    Comment by roughseasinthemed | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so much Kj, so appreciate your kind words, things are looking a little brighter now. What with all your words and others this gives me so much encouragement. welcome as always. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  2. Reblogged this on Sitting on the Porch and commented:
    Me and my story…..

    Comment by galan12 | February 4, 2014 | Reply

  3. Wondered where you’d gone. Sorry to hear of your uncomfortable month. Hope you’ll mend quickly. Don’t overdue. Take your time. We’re not going anywhere. :-D

    Comment by Let's CUT the Crap! | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so much, I appreciate your kind words as others, it is these that keep going. I did miss my blogging and friends. welcome ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  4. I have been missing your post never thinking you were going through so much. I am so very glad you are progressing in your health and will be praying for your complete recovery. Take your time and don’t do too much.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

    Comment by fgassette | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Francine thank you so very much, it is now one realises their friends and how I missed you all. getting there slowly welcome and appreciated. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  5. Sorry to hear about your surgery. It is indeed, a life changer, Here is a song that popped into my head that I know you will remember. Prayers and blessings for your healing. Hoping you find that “peace of mind”

    Comment by Life in the 50's and beyond... | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you for this and yes I certainly do remember this and it is so appreciated. I really did not expect any of these beautiful comments. Tears are welling and they are happy tears. Welcome and so loved thank you. This song will part of me now, Thank you.x

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  6. I was wondering why you had not posted for a while. So sorry it was due to such a severe and terrifying reason! I am pleased to learn you have reached the side of recovery and are now up and about. Do take care. We miss you when you’re away.

    Comment by appletonavenue | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so very much, it is hard to know what to say, it just does not seem enough to say just thank you, I have been overwhelmed with all these comments. Welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  7. WELCOME HOME, GERRY!!!

    Comment by sandraconner | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Sandra, You know how I feel about your friendship, it people like you that give me encouragement and make me want to get up and get back on the horse, so to speak. Welcome and loved.

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  8. Well, I’ve been wondering if you’d stopped blogging. This post was disturbing to read. Your poem is moving – I imagine you’re pretty angry. But you’re still blogging and that’s a good thing. I’ll be watching to see how you recover.

    Comment by Trish | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Trish, yes the poem shows my anger at the time. I at the moment was probably at the lowest of low one can get. But I am now upbeat and happier within myself. And reading yours and others wonderful messages this helps and encourages me beyond my wildest thoughts. Welcome and loved, thank you. x

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  9. I’m glad to hear your on the mend Gerry, take it easy and take care.

    I’m surprised to hear you didn’t go to hospital right away, when I had my heart attack, within half an hour and I was in hospital one hour later my stints were in, brilliant.

    Comment by Harry | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Yes Harry, there were many things that were not normal apparently. But as I wrote the doctor rushed me in on that morning. I was to have stents, but they thought better to have by-passes. But getting there now hopefully all is past now and on the mend. I hope all is okay with you as well. maybe we should start a group. welcome and appreciated Harry thank you.

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  10. I’m glad you’re on your way to recovery! Take some time if you must so you can recover fully. Take care!

    Comment by edelweiss | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so much for your kind words, it is them that uplift me. welcome and loved. x ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  11. Holy crap. Feel better soon.

    Comment by sweetness6645 | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • I like your message, I love it actually. Thank you and welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

      • It was the shock speaking. Glad to see you are on the mend :)

        Comment by sweetness6645 | February 5, 2014

    • Thank you again, your support certainly helps. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

      • You are welcome, take care.

        Comment by sweetness6645 | February 6, 2014

  12. Gerry, no words can express my sadness for what you went through, but know my happiness is even greater because you are getting better! Brother do not lose faith but know there are quite a few who love and care about you, who will be sending blankets of prayers and hugs your way… here is a prayer to speak to Lord, he loves you Gerry!

    A Certain Peace – That’s Always True

    Only in your presence
    can I find the joy
    that my heart needs

    Only when walking
    with you can I find
    what brings me peace

    Only by sharing my
    quiet moments with you
    will I know what it is
    I should do

    And only in the love
    you give my Lord,
    will I find a love
    that‘s always true.

    Hugs and blessings to you my Brother/friend!!

    Comment by Wendell A. Brown | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Wendell I thank you from the bottom of my heart, these words will be a medicine for me and my repair. If I feel low I will read it for encouragement and know that it came with the blessings from a true friend. Thank you so very much, always my friend, Welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  13. Oh dear sweet Gerry. How horrible but then how wonderful. I hope that you continue to improve minute by minute. You’ve been through too much. Now recover and be well. Gem

    Comment by firstandfabulous | February 4, 2014 | Reply

    • Gemma thank you very much, it with friends like you that encourage me to get well quick. knowing that there is still love in the world encourages me. [CND] welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  14. Dear Gerry, so sorry you had to go through all of this but man I am glad you are doing better. Take care of yourself and know that we are all pulling for you.

    Comment by Jo Bryant | February 5, 2014 | Reply

    • Jo, I thank you so much and it is words like this and friends like you that give me the encouragement to get better and back on the saddle. And am happy to say that I slowly going in the right direction. welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

      • And we are happy to hear it.

        Comment by Jo Bryant | February 5, 2014

      • :)

        Comment by cobbies69 | February 6, 2014

  15. OMG Gerry – I am so sorry to hear this! Sending you lots of love xxx

    Comment by jmgoyder | February 5, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Jules, it is friends like you that keep uplifted and wanting to get better. Appreciate your love and words. welcome and loved, ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  16. Hold Heart and d’not lose
    God Bless Ye for a speedy recovery!

    your well-wisher.

    Comment by lviswa | February 5, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you very much, these words will help me. welcome. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  17. Like others I wondered where you’d gone, thinking you were probably just having a break.
    I never once thought the ‘break’ was an enforced one :-(
    I’m glad you have come though what must have been a totally terrifying time for you.
    Hope you’re back fully soon, I miss your music posts.

    Comment by Vicky | February 5, 2014 | Reply

    • Yes Vicky I am slowly getting back and hopefully soon to do some more music ones as well. It did shock me at the time, but now I think better of it, and with friends like you leaving me lovely messages it certainly encourages me to get well fast. welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 5, 2014 | Reply

  18. What major things to happen in such a short time! Sorry to hear you have been through such a a lot, What a way to spend Christmas and New Year!
    Pre-1967 and you probably would have ended up well and truly deaded.
    Hope you will now make a speedy and full recovery..

    Comment by colonialist | February 6, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Col’ it was a little sudden for me, giving me no chance to post anything. But yes am on the right road now, but driving slowly. Will get there just not when. Appreciate your message and welcome, thank you. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 6, 2014 | Reply

  19. Had wondered what happened to you. Now I am glad I took time to look at my reader today. Do take care, and be gentle with yourself.
    ~Lindy

    Comment by mrsbearfoot | February 6, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Lindy, much appreciate your kind words, It is these that spur me on. welcome and loved. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 7, 2014 | Reply

  20. Gerry, I’ve never been through anything like this. I have absolutely no idea what to say other than I’m so glad that you’re on a new path.

    For certain, all the best to you!

    Comment by themofman | February 7, 2014 | Reply

    • Just your message is enough for me. I thank you greatly for your message. It is these wonderful thoughts that encourage me greatly. Again thank you and welcome ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 7, 2014 | Reply

  21. Get well soon! :( The poem was beautiful and I look forward to reading your future posts.

    Comment by haelanra | February 7, 2014 | Reply

    • Why thank you so much, it makes me my day when i read messages like yours. Hope to see you again thanks and welcome. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 7, 2014 | Reply

  22. I clicked the ‘Like’ button for your being back on here again.
    Sooo … sorry to hear about your health issues. You’ve been through a difficult time. I feel your pain as I went through a similar experience. Our bodies sometimes betray us. We feel we do right by it but it doesn’t think so.
    Many, many times I wondered where you were. We tend to rely on some of our blogger friends until we become friends. I thought you had an issue with harassment. I know I did and deleted tons of my stories because of it. I’m pleased you’re back. I’m pleased you are recovering. I’m pleased we’ll all get to enjoy your wonderful contributions to the WWW as we did before.
    God Speed Good Health To You !!!!
    Blessings ….
    Isadors xo

    Comment by Inside the Mind of Isadora | February 7, 2014 | Reply

  23. Oh Izzy thank you so much. I hope you are well in return. But to read your message it is truly an honour that I can call you a friend. Hopedully will be back up on the saddle proper shortly. Welcome and loved. ;)

    Comment by cobbies69 | February 7, 2014 | Reply

  24. O… @Gerry… put your sorrow on my shoulder, be strong Gerry. Warm regards

    Comment by campanulladellaanna | February 10, 2014 | Reply

    • Oh thank you so much Della, I can say I am slowly getting there now. welcome and loved ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 10, 2014 | Reply

  25. Words don’t describe! A “lucky” escape? My very best wishes for your ongoing recovery.

    Comment by restlessjo | February 11, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you very much Jo’ your words are my encouragement. Am getting there slowly. welcome and loved ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 11, 2014 | Reply

  26. I can’t press “like” because I don’t like what has happened to you, Gerry. All I can say is that life is a series of changes. Although they seem unwelcomed when they arrive, they often turn out to be turning points to some wonderful new path you never would have taken if not for the unfortunate turn of events that put you on that path. I know all about that lesson many times over. I wish I could give you a big (yet gentle) hug and let you know that all the healing I have in my heart is being sent to yours.

    Love, Lorna

    Comment by Lorna's Voice | February 11, 2014 | Reply

    • Lorna, I really do not know what to say in reply to your wonderful words. Your viewpoint might well be true. I hope so, my outlook is certainly different to what it was before Xmas. Several times during my period in hospital I did think whether I would get back to life and blogs etc. I kept thinking of people like yourself and not being able to tell anyone what has happened. Because it is your loyalty and friendship that will keep my head up on low moments. Thank you so much, Welcome and loved … ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 12, 2014 | Reply

  27. I liked this because you have an impressive attitude. I’m so glad you are on the mend. Sounds like a scary situation but thank you so much for your courage to share it. That was a wonderful poem that makes so much sense to me. Loss hurts so much because of how amazing life and love can be. I see from the comments here that we all have much love for you and hope you are strong enough to check back in again very soon :)

    Comment by blastedgoat | February 12, 2014 | Reply

    • Why thank you so much for these beautiful words of encouragement. As I say it is people like you who I look at as friends that keep me going. The comments on this post have truly inspired me as well as overwhelming. Thank you o much.. welcome and loved ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 12, 2014 | Reply

  28. So sorry to read about your hear attack and hospitalization Gerry. Glad you are feeling better. Wishing you a happy, healthy, stress free year ahead. Take care.

    Comment by Madhu | February 16, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so much Madhu, But am getting through this tunnel now. Light is visible .. Thanks so much and Welcome…:)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 17, 2014 | Reply

  29. Hope you are recovering, Gerry. Positive thoughts!!

    Comment by ruthincolorado | February 17, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Ruth, much appreciate your kind words. Getting there slowly. Welcome. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 17, 2014 | Reply

  30. Hi Gerry,
    Sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. But am glad you are getting better. Take it easy! I hope and pray you will be well soon.
    Karen xx

    Comment by Karen | February 19, 2014 | Reply

    • Hi Karen, thanks for this message and good wishes. I am now seeing a lot of light at the end of my tunnel. slowly but surely getting there. Welcome always.. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 19, 2014 | Reply

  31. I’m praying for your quick and full recovery. :-)

    Comment by Imelda | February 19, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you so much Imelda, so nice of you to say so. Am getting there slowly.. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | February 20, 2014 | Reply

  32. I’m relieved you’re well and ready to resume blogging! Stay safe :)

    Comment by evilnymphstuff | March 6, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you very, it means so much to me. am now getting stronger and a lot better. Welcome ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | March 7, 2014 | Reply

  33. […] is the first of four poems by Gerry which he wrote while in hospital undergoing an operation for a double heart […]

    Pingback by Goodbye Universe. | Poet's Corner | March 23, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Harry,, honoured and appreciated. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | March 24, 2014 | Reply

  34. […] is the second of four poems by Gerry which he wrote while in hospital undergoing an operation for a double heart […]

    Pingback by Just Another Bloody Day. | Poet's Corner | March 28, 2014 | Reply

  35. Oh, my sweet friend! I am so sorry to hear of your latest scare. I can only imagine the stress, worry and disappointment you have been under. I am glad to hear you are recovering nicely, though. I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. It seems I’ve not had 2 minutes to myself since October/November but that’s changing now. I plan to keep in touch better with my friends. I hope you will be feeling awesome in no time! (love & hugs)

    Comment by Carol B Sessums | March 29, 2014 | Reply

    • Yes thank you a lot better now but still repairing,, did a little writing on my quiet moments when able. Not that I had much thinking time. It is nice to see your name here after so long and hope all is well with you and family. ;)

      Comment by cobbies69 | March 29, 2014 | Reply


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