Behind the Net Curtains.

Monday 10th June 2013.                               Nearing a 1st Year Anniversary



In these sad days, with all the trouble within our world, why is it we still find it in ourselves to hurt each other. Especially the ones we love. I could make this into a  post that should be on my sister blog BTH  [Bring Them Home], but will not do so. I have titled this Behind the Net Curtains, because what do we really know about people. Let us take for example, the average couple, everyone sees them as made for each other, the perfect couple. What they, in public, talk about and the picture that they portray.  Many relationships are not what they seem, I have first hand experience of this. There are many shop windows, but not everything on show is genuine. A loving vision made for each other couple.. But are they really?



One of the most common (and most frustrating) relationship dynamics that we hear about is couples who feel emotionally wounded by each other on a regular basis. They both love each other, and want to stay together, yet they keep hurting each other through verbal abuse, physical rejection, taking each other for granted, betraying emotional trust, or bringing up the most vulnerable topics from their partner’s past. This is a such a common phenomenon that it became the focus of the famous 1944 song by Allan Roberts and Doris Fisher, “You Always Hurt the One You Love”, with a bizarre last line:

So many meaningless words, spoken with an empty heart. But are they, or are they just misguided or misunderstood. Lacking of experience,  can be said, which might be true, but to love someone is not lack of experience. You love, I love, we love, so my question would be, ‘Why do people who love each other, for what ever reason, always leave their love at the station. Passing up chances that they so wish, or say they do. Like an ending to a sad film, one departs into the far-reaching shadows of the sunset, leaving the other watching, while in tears, and pleading.

Why do we do this? We hurt the one we love for several reasons

We lack the knowledge and skills of how to communicate our feelings constructively

This is what does and has happened mostly, a new way of  communicating that, one, is forever ever learning, and forever telling each other so, but when the push comes to the shove, neither actually believe it. Problem is because neither know how to handle or understand. And long distance the seeing of ones eyes, or the not seeing becomes  a big problem, should not but does.

I am one that has never been comfortable expressing my emotions, and have now taken a big dislike to this word, emotions, and it has proved to me of late, why I had always kept my tears to myself, in the privacy of my own being. I kept everything with in, and so many people over the years have told me this is harmful and should let it out, talk about it, share it. But to be honest, I would rather put up with the hurt this causes, rather than the hurt that sharing causes.  It can almost feel like being mentally abused,  psychologically raped.

So basically what I am saying, there is so much more behind those net curtains. One might be able to see, but it is never as clear-cut as first thought. Judging one should not be, just accept what is said, and if you do really love some one, believe in some one,  the strength from this should be enough. All else, like trust and hurdles will be overcome. Relationships can be and are mostly fragile, hanging on a thin gossamer line. I personally had hurdles and was slowly but surely moving these out of the way.

It is hard to pretend, Genuine is Constant.©

Time has Passed..

Oh well clock, oh clock why do you tick tock.

My life is slowly being sapped,

My memories being tapped.

My emotions always trapped.

Oh clock why tick tock.  

My lady tick tock, said the clock at the top of the hour,,

Our time becomes dour,,

It is time to call time.

The concluding, final hour.       Ga/c 2013©                                                                                                                                             


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7 thoughts on “Behind the Net Curtains.

  1. So much of what you’re saying is true, Gerry. The world is full of people who are so self-focused that they cannot get “out of themselves” enough to see things from another person’s perspective and consider their needs and feelings. A lot of times those people don’t mean to be selfish, but their focus is so entirely on themselves — I call it small-mindedness — that they can’t seem to love freely and purely.

    Most of my life — I guess because of my big imagination — I have passed by houses and thought about the people living in them. Especially if I was sad or going through a bad experience, I’d pass by a home that looked “perfect” from the outside and imagine how wonderful those people’s lives were — especially compared to mine. Eventually, my experience of life taught me that, in truth, most of those people probably had serious and seemingly hopeless situations they were facing too, and just because their home looked story-book perfect, that didn’t give a true story about their real lives at all.

    1. Sandra,, I must admit this post did lead off a little of my intended line,,, and this was due to an emotional upset I have had to suddenly deal with… but it maintains the main line. Which I must say you have noticed and expressed so well for me also. People can be so judgmental, even I am guilty in the past. And as always Sandra you put this into perspective.. and thank you so very much… welcome . 😉

  2. We never really know what is behind “the net” or the curtains or the smile, do we? Sometimes, most times, we are hard-pressed to figure out what is really going on inside of us, let alone another person. Yet, someone we delude ourselves into thinking or believing we have the answers and we act on them with all the certainty in the world. And that is where the potential for harm, intended or not, comes into play.

    But how do we communicate with perfect openness and honesty when we ourselves don’t (or can’t) find our own truths? We are human. We are complex. We are fallible. We are beautiful. We are.

    1. This is the point Lorna, no one really knows,, but in many cases people like to assume, purely on what they see or dont see. We are people no arguments there, but if conversing with another then truth is what matters most to me. We love, we give love and we receive love, and like to be loved. thank you and welcome for your lovely words as always enjoy reading. 😉

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