Luck, Punished or Just a Man ‘#3’

Tuesday 3rd September 2013

Part 3  [Final part]  … ‘Just a Man’ 3

I do hope you read this, and let me know what you think.. Thank you!

Express Yourself ‘Man’ Part 3 

[Continued from Luck, Punished or Just a Man #2]

Enjoy the music while reading, this video is absolutely brilliant.

I finished my last post with hospital visit and my eczema ailment. Leaving you with details and web sites to visit if you wish to learn more, so my story will continue from here.

During the following years, my life was trying to deal with things as and when they occurred. Staying out the night whether it be round friends houses or doing a gig or going to a gig I would always try to hide my ailments.  When I was puffed out, struggling for breath, I would walk outside or go to the toilet, take a puff from my Ventolin, wait until I regained my breath and felt well enough to rejoin my position from where I was. I never knew if anyone did notice or was aware, no one said anything, whether they were being polite or genuinely did not know, I never found this out. My concern was just trying to keep it out of sight and be as normal as the rest of the people I hung out with. If I started a coughing fit, with Asthma I did regularly, I would almost choke myself at times trying to hold it back, and of course this would make it worse. I did not like the looks I got when I lost control, it was never a dainty cough, it was always a throaty and chesty mucus cough sounding like thunder. Causing people to look. Many many times I held it back, my throat almost bursting, but it was the lesser of the evils for me.  Because of this I did not stay round friends houses that much, parties were not for me either, as well as the fact I did not sleep as long as most people, I must have come across as a real bore. I must stress it did not happen as much as I may be portraying here, but it always seem to happen at the wrong time, not that there was a right time. But it was me.  

During these and the following years I learnt little tricks of how to keep this from being public knowledge, I still do not really know why I did this. Whether it was to avoid awkward questions, or whether it was my shyness, I cannot say. All I do know is the more I kept it hidden the more I needed to. I could have possibly felt ashamed,or guilty, who knows.  

I never used my health as an excuse, or played on it. I want to say that I accepted it and it became part of my everyday life. Never looking at it any differently to other healthier people.  I was never into playing sports like my brothers, even though at school I did play tennis and won the school pairs. Maybe I was influenced by health situation,  I was actually more into music as my regular readers know, and from the age of approximately 18 I played in various bands. This could cause me problems, but I rode with it. Drinking, which I did do but nowhere near as much as others I was with, I hated the feel of drunkenness and especially the morning after. I did how ever get into drugs quite badly. This I could say ‘another story for another day’ which some individual stories I will post about. I saw some horrific things. I was never into ‘H’ heroin or Cocaine, I was not that stupid, still stupid but not ‘THAT’ stupid. It seemed a natural thing within the music world, and not to forget the era I was in as well. No excuses, my choices. But the strangest thing was, even while under the influence of say, LSD, acid,[click for more info] if I felt the need to have a puff I still disappeared to do so. It did not happen often, the effects of the drugs seem to over-ride my asthma symptoms.  This sort of living went on and on and on and on.

Over the years my doctor tested me regularly, tried to do so yearly but in truth this was more like every couple of years. Blood tests and pressure tests, x-rays, scans, most of you know the drill. One time I kept avoiding this and my doctor refused my prescription meaning I had to visit him to get my medication. Cheeky ole doc he was, but he was a good one. Every time the results came with nothing to report, inconclusive. teehee!

Then came January 2012, I was called into my surgery and my doctor gave me the results of earlier tests….I was diagnosed diabetic. I was then told I am on the highest risk category group, what is that, what does it mean? very nerve jangling and worrying news. With the initial support I got, NONE, or very little, I was left to deal mostly with it on my own. March April May 2012 I was sent to hospital for heart checks, because I mentioned pains in my chest. I had tread mill tests, heart monitoring probes. ‘Inconclusive’ The final one was for me to be  hooked up to a drip, and then my heart was supposed to be controlled by the doctor, but it never got that far I fainted, well almost but felt very ill. My phobia to needles controlled my mind, I panicked and so the test was halted. ‘Inconclusive’ not been back. All that I have found out about diabetes is from the internet. I do have regular checks and blood tests, but never really been told about the effects the drugs I take may cause or may not cause. High blood pressure or cholesterol levels. High risk group, apart from worrying me what is that all about. I did find out more as time passed and I had to accept my new world.

Oh well I will update as I find out more. I could write more but did not want to bore too much.. There is so much more I could write referring to symptoms and things my body has been telling me, but maybe a future post..hope this has not be too boring for you..Thank you for your patience and please comments welcome.


If you missed my previous two parts – see below links Thank you.


Important  Sites



Eczema –

Diabetes –

Beautiful site  worth a visit – Angel

My story –

LSD or Acid physchadelic drug –



18 thoughts on “Luck, Punished or Just a Man ‘#3’

  1. Sorry you got such tough news. Diabetes is nothing to sneeze at and you do need to do certain things to maintain your health. I know, easier said than done. My son had terrible asthma as a young child, and I know how tough that can be. Luckily for him he grew out of it. So sorry yours continues to plague you. Thanks for sharing this part of your life.

    1. Nice to read your lovely words thank you,, I remember when I was young my doctor told my mother I would grow out of it in multiple of seven years. so when 7 I thought it would go, then 14, then 21, and by 28 I gave up thinking I would be rid of it..It is all under control and is and has been just part of my world.. Welcome and appreciated.. 😉

  2. I am a diabetic also. If you have a testing machine and feel you can check your finger, which does take a tiny prick to your finger with a needle, always try to keep your sugars around 100. I like the strength you show to continue to live the way you wish. you are strong and a fighter. good post

    1. Hey thank you Terry,, I have my way as we all do, and me just trying to put how things affect each of us. and even the lack of knowledge passed over to me. But since have found out so much more,, and trying to encourage men as well,, but I seem to have failed on this part. Thank you again and welcome and appreciated.. see you at FB as well… 😉

  3. It’s hard to imagine all you’ve been through. Don’t even think about boring people. Say what comes to mind. Say what you need to. Those who want to read, will. This is probably good for you. (Now I’m not a doc, but I know when I talk, most times I feel better – as do others as well, I believe) Take good care, Gerry. G

    1. Gemma thank you so much for these lovely and honourable words,, appreciated and feeling very humbled and so thankful for this. this post is basically a let off steam and informative post..I said this is my final, but there is so much more I could write, so I might just do another… always welcome Gemma,, 😉

  4. Remains positive Gerry, so will make it easier to receive all.
    Diabetes is not a dangerous disease, as long as we adhere to the advice of a doctor
    Therefore consider a more healthy way of life, especially food, and lots of moving/sport
    Positive support is very important.

  5. My dear old friend I read your words with heartache. Yes it may be true that many near our age are dealing with bodies that become ‘broken’ but going through these frightening times of the unknown to the diagnosis alone is the worst part in my opinion.
    As you said my Kind Sir that you could write so much more, I would encourage you to do jut that.Don’t give up on the male readership, the guys just to need to know where to find your shares.
    Thank you Cobbie for sharing this, you touch my heart.

    1. Nice to read your words once again my lady,,, so so appreciate them and take serious note of the as well as enjoy reading them,, i might just do another post as an update… see what comes o fruition… so love your visit and comment welcome 😉

  6. Gerry, I just now read all three of the parts of this post. I didn’t know it was here before because it did not come up in my WP Reader — don’t know what’s going on. I’m certainly sorry that you have had to struggle so with health problems in your life. I do have to say one thing to you, though — mainly due to your title. If I understand your title correctly, it seems you’re asking whether what you’ve gone through is just the result of luck, is it the result of just being a man, or are you being punished. If that’s really what you’re asking, I can tell you for sure that you are NOT being punished.

    I realize that we are in different places concerning how we believe the spiritual part of our universe works, but knowing the God of the universe through His Son Jesus Christ as I do, and having understood and taught His Word to thousands of people for over 40 years, I can tell you that, since Jesus came to pay the sacrifice that makes us right with God again, God does NOT punish people for anything. Jesus came to bring God’s mercy to us, and that is the dispensation of His Spirit that we are living under. There will certainly be a day at the end of time when God pours out His wrath to destroy all the demonic powers that have been in control in much of this world since man’s original rebellion against God, but that is a different thing altogether.

    I don’t want to preach — just hopefully encourage you. If you’d like to know more about what I’m saying, you can always contact me through my e-mail (, and I will share more with you.

    And you just might like to visit the “Healing From Jesus” blog that I host. It will lift your spirits and inspire faith to believe for God’s help and healing in your situation as well. Just in case you feel inclined to visit, I’ll include the link here.

    We average about 400 visits a month on that site, from over 65 different nations. People all over the world need healing, and the Lord wants to offer it through Jesus. Sorry if I sound preachy. But I just want to encourage and bless you and do anything I can to help you feel better and have a happier life.

    I will definitely be praying for you, my good friend.

    1. Sandra I am at a loss for words, this is thoughtful and the offer of help is overwhelming. It is so surprising how the people of cyber world spread their friendship. I will certainly click your link and follow. My health has always just been part of me, and is just the way I am. But of late I do have had a few slightly depressing times. whether it is heath related not sure,, do have or have experienced other things in my life that is hard to deal.. But Sandra I absolutely love your words and assistance and support I am overwhelmed… 😉

  7. Distressing to think of having to adapt to the conditions like that. I wonder what causes the desire to keep it private? More to it, I’d say, than just wanting to be seen as ‘one of the boys’.

    1. It was more for having to explain things to people to which I did not feel comfortable with. As for being one of the boys well I was far from being this…Thank you Col’ welcome 😉

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