My Absence Explained.{A broken heart}

Tuesday 4th February 2014.

I was on the verge of composing and posting some follow-up Xmas posts when my life was abruptly changed, changed for good. But I was stopped in my tracks and had no time to post anything until now. I am hoping all you regular readers will understand and accept. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to continue with living and posting more stories as before. Thank you everyone for your continued support, love and understanding.


Tuesday 17th December 2013.       While doing my Xmas posts, I suffered a dull uncomfortable ache in my chest and back of both arms. I could not sleep in bed so spent night o sofa.


Friday 20th December 2013.      Visited my doctor, who took blood tests and also had ECG.


Saturday 21st December 2013.   02.00 there were knocks on the door. Where I live one does not open door to unexpected visitations that early in the morning.  10.00am the door went again, doctor visiting.  Apparently I had had a minor heart attack on Tuesday and after his initial checks I was rushed to hospital.


Goodbye Universe. [poem]

The universe is no longer my friend

Once again he has let me down

Many years ago he took my father

Followed a few years later with my mother.

Then without a thought he hurt my brother.

Twisting his knife of fate, deeper it went.

Oozing every last drop of emotion from me.

Screwing it up and throwing it away,

Just like scrap paper flying into the bin.

I did for awhile start to believe,

Listening to, and writing all those fancy words.

Telling me about love, faith, fate and hope.

Patience, tolerance, oh never again!

I walked the line, showing I was true.

I have lost faith.

Fate cannot be trusted,

Love will always be with me.

Hope! I do not know if I have any left.

Opening my heart, bearing my soul.

Inviting you in to become my friend.

Friend you proved not to be.

Abandoned me now, so it seems.

Today is the day, I look you in the eye.

For the last time I say, “get out of my life”

 Gaa/C 2013.

 Gerry Ainger/Cobb. 23rd December 2013. In hospital Cardiac Care Unit.

Tuesday 24th December 2013.  Angiogram-findings not good. Diagnosis, I will not be having stents put in. Instead I am now to have a double heart by-pass. Needless to say I was now very, very scared.


Monday 30th December 2013.  Today was my turn, from time of waking in the morning to the time of operation I was continually thinking all sorts of things. Ranging from good thoughts to the real bad negative thoughts. Prolonging my life to never seeing anyone again. With all the pre-med and preparations,with the shaving my body and being drugged. The last I remember was being wheeled into the outer theatre where two surgeons were talking to me and calming me. I do not remember much of the next two days.  Apparently the operation was a success.


Wednesday 1st January 2014.  My start of the new year was crying in pain, a collapsed lung resulted in drainage tubes and emergency procedures done very early morning of this new years day. For the next two weeks I went through numerous tests and had people, usually nurses, prodding, sticking needles in me, cutting me and sticking tubes in my chest. Cannular’s and drip feeds not to forget the catheter for urine.[Twice]

31 days after my admittance I was allowed to come home, but only with special conditions. Now on this day of posting I have improved well enough to get about and even go out in the car. However there is still a long way to go, at least, I am on this new journey and with new approach to life.

I hope to start my regular posts again shortly, plus an update to this one, I therefore look forward to getting back to normal and appreciate and am grateful for your continued support. Thank you.


2014 signature


76 thoughts on “My Absence Explained.{A broken heart}

  1. Gerry sweetheart, so sorry to hear about this, but pleased to hear from you. I did wonder where you had gone. Hoping a new year and new health will see you on the road to recovery. But don’t stress about the blogging.

    Fingers crossed for your good health

    K xx

    1. Thank you so much Kj, so appreciate your kind words, things are looking a little brighter now. What with all your words and others this gives me so much encouragement. welcome as always. 😉

  2. I have been missing your post never thinking you were going through so much. I am so very glad you are progressing in your health and will be praying for your complete recovery. Take your time and don’t do too much.


    1. Thank you for this and yes I certainly do remember this and it is so appreciated. I really did not expect any of these beautiful comments. Tears are welling and they are happy tears. Welcome and so loved thank you. This song will part of me now, Thank you.x

  3. I was wondering why you had not posted for a while. So sorry it was due to such a severe and terrifying reason! I am pleased to learn you have reached the side of recovery and are now up and about. Do take care. We miss you when you’re away.

    1. Thank you so very much, it is hard to know what to say, it just does not seem enough to say just thank you, I have been overwhelmed with all these comments. Welcome and loved. 😉

    1. Thank you Sandra, You know how I feel about your friendship, it people like you that give me encouragement and make me want to get up and get back on the horse, so to speak. Welcome and loved.

  4. Well, I’ve been wondering if you’d stopped blogging. This post was disturbing to read. Your poem is moving – I imagine you’re pretty angry. But you’re still blogging and that’s a good thing. I’ll be watching to see how you recover.

    1. Trish, yes the poem shows my anger at the time. I at the moment was probably at the lowest of low one can get. But I am now upbeat and happier within myself. And reading yours and others wonderful messages this helps and encourages me beyond my wildest thoughts. Welcome and loved, thank you. x

  5. I’m glad to hear your on the mend Gerry, take it easy and take care.

    I’m surprised to hear you didn’t go to hospital right away, when I had my heart attack, within half an hour and I was in hospital one hour later my stints were in, brilliant.

    1. Yes Harry, there were many things that were not normal apparently. But as I wrote the doctor rushed me in on that morning. I was to have stents, but they thought better to have by-passes. But getting there now hopefully all is past now and on the mend. I hope all is okay with you as well. maybe we should start a group. welcome and appreciated Harry thank you.

  6. Gerry, no words can express my sadness for what you went through, but know my happiness is even greater because you are getting better! Brother do not lose faith but know there are quite a few who love and care about you, who will be sending blankets of prayers and hugs your way… here is a prayer to speak to Lord, he loves you Gerry!

    A Certain Peace – That’s Always True

    Only in your presence
    can I find the joy
    that my heart needs

    Only when walking
    with you can I find
    what brings me peace

    Only by sharing my
    quiet moments with you
    will I know what it is
    I should do

    And only in the love
    you give my Lord,
    will I find a love
    that‘s always true.

    Hugs and blessings to you my Brother/friend!!

    1. Wendell I thank you from the bottom of my heart, these words will be a medicine for me and my repair. If I feel low I will read it for encouragement and know that it came with the blessings from a true friend. Thank you so very much, always my friend, Welcome and loved. 😉

    1. Gemma thank you very much, it with friends like you that encourage me to get well quick. knowing that there is still love in the world encourages me. [CND] welcome and loved. 😉

  7. Dear Gerry, so sorry you had to go through all of this but man I am glad you are doing better. Take care of yourself and know that we are all pulling for you.

    1. Jo, I thank you so much and it is words like this and friends like you that give me the encouragement to get better and back on the saddle. And am happy to say that I slowly going in the right direction. welcome and loved. 😉

  8. Like others I wondered where you’d gone, thinking you were probably just having a break.
    I never once thought the ‘break’ was an enforced one 😦
    I’m glad you have come though what must have been a totally terrifying time for you.
    Hope you’re back fully soon, I miss your music posts.

    1. Yes Vicky I am slowly getting back and hopefully soon to do some more music ones as well. It did shock me at the time, but now I think better of it, and with friends like you leaving me lovely messages it certainly encourages me to get well fast. welcome and loved. 😉

  9. What major things to happen in such a short time! Sorry to hear you have been through such a a lot, What a way to spend Christmas and New Year!
    Pre-1967 and you probably would have ended up well and truly deaded.
    Hope you will now make a speedy and full recovery..

    1. Thank you Col’ it was a little sudden for me, giving me no chance to post anything. But yes am on the right road now, but driving slowly. Will get there just not when. Appreciate your message and welcome, thank you. 😉

  10. Gerry, I’ve never been through anything like this. I have absolutely no idea what to say other than I’m so glad that you’re on a new path.

    For certain, all the best to you!

    1. Just your message is enough for me. I thank you greatly for your message. It is these wonderful thoughts that encourage me greatly. Again thank you and welcome 😉

  11. I clicked the ‘Like’ button for your being back on here again.
    Sooo … sorry to hear about your health issues. You’ve been through a difficult time. I feel your pain as I went through a similar experience. Our bodies sometimes betray us. We feel we do right by it but it doesn’t think so.
    Many, many times I wondered where you were. We tend to rely on some of our blogger friends until we become friends. I thought you had an issue with harassment. I know I did and deleted tons of my stories because of it. I’m pleased you’re back. I’m pleased you are recovering. I’m pleased we’ll all get to enjoy your wonderful contributions to the WWW as we did before.
    God Speed Good Health To You !!!!
    Blessings ….
    Isadors xo

  12. Oh Izzy thank you so much. I hope you are well in return. But to read your message it is truly an honour that I can call you a friend. Hopedully will be back up on the saddle proper shortly. Welcome and loved. 😉

  13. I can’t press “like” because I don’t like what has happened to you, Gerry. All I can say is that life is a series of changes. Although they seem unwelcomed when they arrive, they often turn out to be turning points to some wonderful new path you never would have taken if not for the unfortunate turn of events that put you on that path. I know all about that lesson many times over. I wish I could give you a big (yet gentle) hug and let you know that all the healing I have in my heart is being sent to yours.

    Love, Lorna

    1. Lorna, I really do not know what to say in reply to your wonderful words. Your viewpoint might well be true. I hope so, my outlook is certainly different to what it was before Xmas. Several times during my period in hospital I did think whether I would get back to life and blogs etc. I kept thinking of people like yourself and not being able to tell anyone what has happened. Because it is your loyalty and friendship that will keep my head up on low moments. Thank you so much, Welcome and loved … 😉

  14. I liked this because you have an impressive attitude. I’m so glad you are on the mend. Sounds like a scary situation but thank you so much for your courage to share it. That was a wonderful poem that makes so much sense to me. Loss hurts so much because of how amazing life and love can be. I see from the comments here that we all have much love for you and hope you are strong enough to check back in again very soon 🙂

    1. Why thank you so much for these beautiful words of encouragement. As I say it is people like you who I look at as friends that keep me going. The comments on this post have truly inspired me as well as overwhelming. Thank you o much.. welcome and loved 😉

  15. So sorry to read about your hear attack and hospitalization Gerry. Glad you are feeling better. Wishing you a happy, healthy, stress free year ahead. Take care.

  16. Hi Gerry,
    Sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. But am glad you are getting better. Take it easy! I hope and pray you will be well soon.
    Karen xx

    1. Hi Karen, thanks for this message and good wishes. I am now seeing a lot of light at the end of my tunnel. slowly but surely getting there. Welcome always.. 😉

  17. Oh, my sweet friend! I am so sorry to hear of your latest scare. I can only imagine the stress, worry and disappointment you have been under. I am glad to hear you are recovering nicely, though. I’m sorry I’ve been out of touch. It seems I’ve not had 2 minutes to myself since October/November but that’s changing now. I plan to keep in touch better with my friends. I hope you will be feeling awesome in no time! (love & hugs)

    1. Yes thank you a lot better now but still repairing,, did a little writing on my quiet moments when able. Not that I had much thinking time. It is nice to see your name here after so long and hope all is well with you and family. 😉

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