12th September 2016
A sad period of my life has just reached its climax. With this going on in my life i have been unable to do any posts, but this one I hope will help me. I kept umming and ahhhing about should I or should I not post this but today decided to post. My brother fully deserves more.
My Brother.Back in 2009 he had a triple heart by-pass. Everything went well and he was allowed out of hospital within a week. Unlike me. But he was also told some other news that he kept to himself and his family. He apparently led a good active life for the next few years, continuing his golfing activities etc. For the next few years all was going well, at least I thought so and as did my other siblings.
When I was in hospital for five weeks my brother and his wife visited me nearly every other day. He spent his time supporting me and encouraging me, ‘I was in the best hands, the staff are really good and know what they are doing. Just a few things often said. All the time he was encouraging me he was living with his own troubles, and at the time apart from his wife no one else seemed to know.
The following few months he had several serious operations, all with varying degrees of success. One minute he was told it was a success and then he experienced a set back. The next two years he suffered many visits to the hospital and encountered many ups and downs. Every piece of good news was followed shortly by bad. His emotional state of mind must have been very mixed and messed up. He spoke to my sister and burst into tears on occasions. He always showed a strong face and had a smile on his face but beneath it all he was suffering. No matter who he talked to he would always suffer, kind words may have helped but they did not stop the pain.
I and my sister visited him at the Oakhaven hospice in Lymington and he was so upbeat and had visions of getting home and then going on holiday to his favourite place with his favourite people, his wife and family. While we were talking to him he told us that when he was drifting one night our mother appeared to him and pulled him back to the world of life telling him it was not his time. This vision of her lifted him greatly which eventually gave him strength and was allowed to go home.
I had a dream, my brother appeared all well and healthy. I ask him if everything had been cleared, he smiled and urged me to follow. I did for a little way when I woke up feeling good for him and within myself. Later the same day I received a text message, it was my brother saying he was going home. I replied saying how great the news was and that I would visit later once he settled. However this good news turned sour, within twenty four hours he took a bad turn and was quickly rushed back to the hospice where he was look over by the doctor. I am not sure what actually happened for a couple of days, but I do believe he was so weak and ill. At 16.30 on Monday 22nd August 2016 he passed on, and my sister said that his wife noticed just as he was moving over his wife noticed his eyes open wide and brief smile appeared on his face and his mouth moved as if to say something. We believe there are two things that he might have said or witnessed. He might have known his time was up and he saw the other side and said farewell to his wife. Or, my personal opinion is, mother appeared and led him away, he smiled and muttered ‘Mum’.
Apparently it was not the cancer that actually killed him it was his heart, after years of stress it finally gave up.
The path of life, this earth we walk.
Many journeys travelled, memories ready to please,
Sitting by the fire at night you would talk.
Remembered by your family trying to release.
Today everyone said farewell.
Remembering your life and love.
We all have different tales to tell.
Tears and emotions from high above.
Looking down, another angel cries,
Waiting to meet you even though too soon.
Helping hands will give you more highs,
The brightest star next to the moon.
Watching over your family sharing their fears,
Keeping a watchful eye on them all.
Help to ease their loss and their tears,
Forever in their hearts and standing tall.
Our final memory with be the smiles you had,
Everyone was happy when you stood near.
Many faces looking on not one is sad.
We all love you bro’ always in our hearts so dear.
Gerry Ainger/Cobb 12th September 2016.©