My Brother.

12th September 2016

A sad period of my life has just reached its climax. With this going on in my life i have been unable to do any posts, but this one I hope will help me. I kept umming and ahhhing about should I or should I not post this but today decided to post. My brother fully deserves more.

My Brother.front-pageBack in 2009 he had a triple heart by-pass. Everything went well and he was allowed out of hospital within a week. Unlike me. But he was also told some other news that he kept to himself and his family. He apparently led a good active life for the next few years, continuing his golfing activities etc. For the next few years all was going well, at least I thought so and as did my other siblings.

When I was in hospital for five weeks my brother and his wife visited me nearly every other day. He spent his time supporting me and encouraging me, ‘I was in the best hands, the staff are really good and know what they are doing. Just a few things often said. All the time he was encouraging me he was living with his own troubles, and at the time apart from his wife no one else seemed to know.

The following few months he had several serious operations, all with varying degrees of success. One minute he was told it was a success and then he experienced a set back. The next two years he suffered many visits to the hospital and encountered many ups and downs. Every piece of good news was followed shortly by bad. His emotional state of mind must have been very mixed and messed up. He spoke to my sister and burst into tears on occasions. He always showed a strong face and had a smile on his face but beneath it all he was suffering. No matter who he talked to he would always suffer, kind words may have helped but they did not stop the pain.

I and my sister visited him at the Oakhaven hospice in Lymington and he was so upbeat and had visions of getting home and then going on holiday to his favourite place with his favourite people, his wife and family. While we were talking to him he told us that when he was drifting one night our mother appeared to him and pulled him back to the world of life telling him it was not his time. This vision of her lifted him greatly which eventually gave him strength and was allowed to go home.

I had a dream, my brother appeared all well and healthy. I ask him if everything had been cleared, he smiled and urged me to follow. I did for a little way when I woke up feeling good for him and within myself. Later the same day I received a text message, it was my brother saying he was going home. I replied saying how great the news was and that I would visit later once he settled. However this good news turned sour, within twenty four hours he took a bad turn and was quickly rushed back to the hospice where he was look over by the doctor. I am not sure what actually happened for a couple of days, but I do believe he was so weak and ill. At 16.30 on Monday 22nd August 2016 he passed on, and my sister said that his wife noticed just as he was moving over his wife noticed his eyes open wide and brief smile appeared on his face and his mouth moved as if to say something. We believe there are two things that he might have said or witnessed. He might have known his time was up and he saw the other side and said farewell to his wife. Or, my personal opinion is, mother appeared and led him away, he smiled and muttered ‘Mum’.

Apparently it was not the cancer that actually killed him it was his heart, after years of stress it finally gave up.

My Brother.

The path of life, this earth we walk.

Many journeys travelled, memories ready to please,

Sitting by the fire at night you would talk.

Remembered by your family trying to release.


Today everyone said farewell.

Remembering your life and love.

We all have different tales to tell.

Tears and emotions from high above.


Looking down, another angel cries,

Waiting to meet you even though too soon.

Helping hands will give you more highs,

The brightest star next to the moon.


Watching over your family sharing their fears,

Keeping a watchful eye on them all.

Help to ease their loss and their tears,

Forever in their hearts and standing tall.


Our final memory with be the smiles you had,

Everyone was happy when you stood near.

Many faces looking on not one is sad.

We all love you bro’ always in our hearts so dear.


Gerry Ainger/Cobb 12th September 2016.©



28 thoughts on “My Brother.

  1. So sorry to read this Gerry. I knew you hadn’t been posting but assumed you had a project or were otherwise absorbed in writing/music as you sometimes are. Life can be cruel my friend. Thank you so much for taking the time to come to mine today. Sending hugs!

  2. This is very sad news, Gerry. I’m so sorry you lost your brother. Good on you for writing this post about him. May he inspire your future writings, too.

  3. Gerry, I’m terribly saddened to hear of your loss. But thank you for letting us know, so that we can keep you in our prayers and our thoughts. May the Lord give you a special strength and encouragement. He knows what will be the special help you need right now, and I’m believing Him to supply it.

    1. Thank you Sandra, He had a good send off and hopefully he was received with open arms as he was in living his life.I myself am still finding it hard to accept and understand. Welcome always…

    1. Thank you very much Sylvia, it was sudden even though it was expected, at least not for for a few months, maybe Xmas time. I felt this was suitable for both him and me with this post.. welcome always..

  4. I clicked ‘like’ for your poem to your brothers memory.
    My deepest condolences for your loss. May your family find comfort
    in knowing that he is not in pain anymore and that he will join your
    beloved Mother in a joyous reunion. Blessings to you and your family.
    BIG HUG …
    Isadora 🙏🏻

    1. Thank you very much Izzy, he will be looked after by mother now, he is only a few yards from her now. It is very hard to accept.. But like you said no more pain.. welcome always Izzy..

  5. Sorry to read of your Brother’s passing Gerry. Your poem is a wonderful and inspired tribute. I hope that your post has brought some closure for you too. Good luck mate.

  6. Hey, Gerry, I just want to say I miss hearing from you and reading your work. I hope you push yourself to get back to writing — no matter what it is. I honestly do believe it will help with the pain and loss. Allowing your gifts to continue to exercise will not only flush out the negatives, but will begin to create more positives and allow them to rise up and take over. Everything you write doesn’t have to be your “best” work. Sometimes writing is not so much about entertaining or informing the audience. Sometimes it’s just writing to keep the wheels turning.

    Missing your unique voice,

    1. Thank you very much Sandra, My pain has lessened somewhat thanks to yours and others fabulous support, but my words have dried up a little. I have been spending time printing all my work out and making them into books. Giving them to family and friends and asking for their feedback. My posting is suffering but I really want to write or post things, but cannot get any ideas at the moment. I have finished my crime thriller etc and trying to edit. Have thought about doing a Leach and Wilson 2 (a follow up) but as yet no story line. Maybe a little research on my Forest fables might help. I am trying to keep up with everyones posts to keep me in the loop.
      I thank you so much Sandra for your concern and friendship. I truly am grateful and honoured.

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