Luck, Punished or Just a Man #1

Wednesday 21st August 2013

A Factual Post, Aarrgh!   A different post for me.

Express Yourself ‘Man’  [ part one ]

I was sitting in the solitary darkness of my life, and thinking about this whole blogging world. Recently and over time I have read so many posts from people expressing so much about life, love, universe, trauma, health, God and all things that tugs at one’s emotions. All top quality work may I say, not criticizing. Also how music can be related to our emotions, poetry with humour and powerful heart wrenching words, which I firmly believe.  People respond with all the nice and supportive comments, some even expressing a little of their own and having a conversation. Mostly women, not all.

But this post from my viewpoint a mans, well I think of myself as a man.  There does not seem to be many men out there with all these powerful life stories, expressions of love, or how the universe is treating them what ever, but maybe they just cannot let it out.  Well I use to be like this in fact I still am, so I am stepping out from my comfort zone. Just this once, maybe it might even kill this blog, who knows.  I am not a writer, not as educated  and do not possess the ability and quality to equal the posts I have read, hence I will not be able use the expressive and fancy words, so please just accept for what it is. 

How many people actually practice what they preach, yes I know there are some, but in truth how many others join in to be part of the crowd. Maybe I am one.  

AUK-logoclick me for more info:

I was born very young, and from this very early age I was diagnosed Asthmatic, quite severely, but I knew no different. My youth years I spent struggling and many times being taken to hospital, and nearly died on two occasions. When I was child there were no inhalers, well not yet available for public use, so I use to suck a pill called Neo-Epinine, it was so powerful for me I had to break it into four and suck under the tongue. I do remember my heart rate rising and it felt like my chest might explode. Catch 22, either I suffocate struggling to breathe or risk my heart giving in. Nice choice.

[ Neo-Epinine (Isoprenaline sulphate) tablets, mid 1950s
The drug isoprenaline is a bronchodilator. It was first introduced in 1948 for use with asthma.
Its over-prescription in aerosol form in the 1950s and early 1960s contributed to a rise in
asthma-related mortality. These Neo-Epinine tablets are believed to date from the mid 1950s. ]

info from –

  I am one of 5.4 million in the UK, and not many people know that an average of 3 people per day in UK still die from it. This is today, so you can imagine what the statistics were when I was a child. I missed a lot of schooling and hence my education suffered. One particular teacher realised this and helped me beyond the normal schooling hours, and if it was not for her I would not have gained 7 x GCE’s. So I say a big thank you MRS WINGATE. tears are swelling my eyes at this thought. I did try to partake in the PE lessons [Physical Education] I did two cross country runs and the second time I collapsed, and was taken to the nearby hospital. So no more.

Peak Flow Meter,N3103 and diary. Over the years and even as recent as a few months back I have had to do twice daily peak flow meter tests, usually over a period of a month and record each test (best of thee puffs) and no cheating. I still have my meter from a very long time ago. My mother taught me this. And while I am on the subject of my mother. Well she was a true Angel,[click me] not just because she was my mother and I loved her dearly, but because she was always there, by side and supporting every little moan, each wheeze, and every night when I coughed myself to sleep, only to awake a few hours later. This caused a great deal of tiredness and tension. It made things so awkward if I ever did a sleep overs, which as kids we liked to do, or other times when everyone else is sleeping cozily and here I am trying not to cough, or wheeze to attract attention. Plenty of time to think.

Today I still hide when taking a puff from the inhaler. Even today this is so, I am lucky to get 5 hours sleep. Always tired, I know many of you out there experienced this lack of sleep as well, for different reasons maybe, so you know what I am talking about. Although this is an on going story this is for another day, today is about….well what is it about really? Am I preaching, letting off steam, looking for sympathy or just being informative and letting you my readers, if any do read that is, get to know me a little better. A few posts recently mentioned things like do we really know who is behind the blogs and words, and having the belief and trust a reader has to have. Anyway I am going off the beaten track and do not want to bore you more. There will probably be no reader that gets this far anyway. So I will tell you what, I will break this up into parts so I will do another follow up  post if there is any interest. My battles with life and more recently Diabetes, which is still like a bombshell hitting me.

I would like call any other men and see if they wish to join in on this ‘Express Yourself Man’ so come on and help set up a club. I know this will be hard because I do not have many men followers and probably less who read. Contact me as per normal Thank you.

Part two coming shortly, a day or two. for my own piece of mind,





What Morning?-[Poem] +

Wednesday 12th June 2013.

While researching  my last couple of posts, something ignited in my memory, and reminded me of a poem I started a short while ago. And because of a serious event that  happened to me a couple of evenings ago, and a doctor was called,  I thought I would finish it, and let all of you have a read. I know there are many people in the world that feel something of the same, and some of my followers also. But it was something that hit me stronger than any other time, so with these words I thought it was a nice time, what with the Inner Peace award I have just done. I needed some Inner Peace. All in similar mood, hope you all enjoy..Thank you very much…

What Morning?  Ga/c©

The morning arrives once again,

Like a darkness that causes me pain.

Each morning I am awake, the same thing.

I wonder what the day will bring.

The morning comes with no warning,

Surely no sleep, means there is no morning.

This morning, how can it be a new day.

In my world, I  always try to find a way.

Daily dozing, but never actually asleep,

Long days, tiring times, sinking deep.

The clock, ticking, night day, night day,

My body, says lay down and drift away.

Resting on my pillow, eyes they close.

But, no sleep, only dreams, I soon arose.

In time the body says, ‘no more, help me,’

Pain hits so hard, screaming to be free.

My morning, no such a pleasure,

Seeing sunrise, drifting dew, such treasure.

Pain killers, massage and pressure points

Only eight hours sleep will ease my joints.

Now months have passed and I collapse,

Happening like a cycle, all my energy it saps.

Try telling, and still no one listens to me,

This prisoner, all he wants is to be free.


 June 11th 2013 [Tuesday]


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